I'm tired and even more tired of hearing my husband complain about how tired he is. My little miss still doesn't sleep through the night. It's a pattern I'm nurturing quite nicely. She goes to sleep initially pretty well, but usually wakes up around midnight and since I've never allowed her to learn how to fall asleep on her own, she cries and I bring her into bed with us. That's not enough, though and I figure after all those hours of sleep, she must be hungry, so I've got a bottle waiting bedside for her. While she's sucking that down we both fall back to sleep. All the while her father is snoring comfortably on the other side of the bed. Some nights I'll put her back in her crib just long enough for me to almost fall back to sleep and the process begins again- she cries, I bring her into bed, she drinks more milk. I usually end up having to get up during the night to fill another bottle because she'll be hungry again when she wakes after this next stretch of sleep.
I can't bring myself to let her cry it out, especially when I'm only 3 feet away from her- how cruel would that be? The pediatrician backed me up on this one- it's really not an effective method of training if you're in view of your screaming baby. Plus, I still stand by the whole, if they're crying they must need something and usually it's just me she needs- why would I want to deprive her of that? Maybe because she's depriving me of sleep. I don't know. Being a working mom sucks and totally plays me into a guilt ridden corner. She is so going to get anything and everything she wants based on the fact that I love her and feel like I'm failing her because I'm paying someone else to raise her.
So, while I'm awake, feeling all guilty, laying uncomfortably on one side so the baby has plenty of room to kick me in the back, face, torso or wherever her tiny little feet land, my husband is sleeping. I know he's not sleeping as soundly as he would if we didn't have a 14 month old in bed with us, but he's rolled away from the whole situation- he's got his back to his daughter while I've taken on the burden of making sure she doesn't roll off the bed. Granted, it's a burden I've taken on myself, but a burden none the less.
Added to this burden is the complaints about how tired my husband is every morning. "I slept like crap again last night" (can you believe it?) So, in an effort to temporarily ease all of our sleeping issues (and to shut my husband up) my daughter and I have spent the last 2 nights sleeping in the living room on an aero bed. To my husband's defense, it was my idea and I'm really enjoying it. I've got so much more room. I push the bed up against the wall so I don't have to worry about little miss falling off the bed and she's got tons of room to kick all she wants. I know it's not a permanent solution and Ferber himself would bust a nut, but sleep deprivation equals desperation and folks, these are desperate times!
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3 comments:
Awwwwww, you're giving her good experience for sleepovers with friends later on in life :) How can nurturing your baby ever be a bad thing? Enjoy all your time with Little Miss even if she kicks you all over while sleeping. They grow up too fast these days...keep her a baby as long as you can. You're doing a great job Mom!
Remember this is a temporary situation.. someday she won't want to sleep with you, and someday she'll have a room of her own, and won't see you 3 feet away trying to ignore her. If you're more comfortable on the aero bed, then sleep there, why should you be uncomfortable? Take this from a mother who let both her boys sleep with her til around age 2, as much as it sometimes can suck, I do look back at those times of getting to cuddle, and waking up with them, very fondly. They still come into our bed every morning at the crack of dawn, and I love that. There'll come a day when she's going to be embarassed by you.. and not want much to do with you..but that's not today, so enjoy it!
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