Today was the first day that I had to drop my daughter off at her new daycare. She started last Wednesday and my husband had been bringing her because of my early work schedule, but today was the first day that I was able to experience the horror and look of utter confusion as the daycare worker literally peeled her body from mine when it was time for me to leave. It was awful. As I fled the room like a coward, I turned back to see her face red and wet with tears and her mouth wide open but silent as she was gathering up air to make the next cry as loud as she could, a cry that would surely get her mother to think twice about leaving her with these strangers. I was out of the building before I could hear that cry. But not to worry, I have evey day this week and the next (and the next) to hear it. My husband gets the pleasure of picking her up, when she's happy to be leaving, no tears. I'm the one who abandons her every morning. If only I could make her understand that mommy needs to go to work so I can afford to pay for this expensive daycare... I'm being dramatic, I know, and I'm sure things will get better, it's just the shittiest feeling to be walking AWAY from your child when she's that upset. It just ain't right!!
Monday, June 26, 2006
Daycare drama....
Today was the first day that I had to drop my daughter off at her new daycare. She started last Wednesday and my husband had been bringing her because of my early work schedule, but today was the first day that I was able to experience the horror and look of utter confusion as the daycare worker literally peeled her body from mine when it was time for me to leave. It was awful. As I fled the room like a coward, I turned back to see her face red and wet with tears and her mouth wide open but silent as she was gathering up air to make the next cry as loud as she could, a cry that would surely get her mother to think twice about leaving her with these strangers. I was out of the building before I could hear that cry. But not to worry, I have evey day this week and the next (and the next) to hear it. My husband gets the pleasure of picking her up, when she's happy to be leaving, no tears. I'm the one who abandons her every morning. If only I could make her understand that mommy needs to go to work so I can afford to pay for this expensive daycare... I'm being dramatic, I know, and I'm sure things will get better, it's just the shittiest feeling to be walking AWAY from your child when she's that upset. It just ain't right!!
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3 comments:
It's not dramatic, it's the way you feel! I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you to leave her like that. But you know that it's going to get easier and easier and eventually she's going to love that place. Then your husband will get the tears when he picks her up and she doesn't want to leave!!
You almost made me cry feeling that agony with you as I read this. I wish you could do both ends of it so she knows mommy's leaving but she's coming back to get me later. And it will get easier as she adjusts, but meanwhile, I feel your pain sistah and I'm sorry you have to go through that.
Once she gets used to the schedule it won't be so bad. One day when you walk through the front door, she will run towards you excitedly yelling "Mommy! Mommy!" and give you a big hug.
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